I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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