Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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