It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im holly from the hills drunk
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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