singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
