How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
