piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
