at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize