Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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