AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
