You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
