I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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