I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
