there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
