I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I have peed in a lot of sinks
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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