he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the day after is always just damage control
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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