i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
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You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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