he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I pour the whiskey from now on
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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