A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
