her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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