ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
