My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
