It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize