ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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