OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
