She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
