so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Someone shit on the floor
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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