where am i from again
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize