Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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