soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
