Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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