am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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