wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
