Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
