in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
