We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
