Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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