turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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