you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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