I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
