i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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