Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
