Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
