like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
