This girl is more easily done than said...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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