It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
