Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
