Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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