Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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