Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
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How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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