ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm at about main and main street
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
