We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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