you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
