Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
