he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
