Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
