Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
