Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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