Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
