the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize