I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
