Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Randomize
