So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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