yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
