dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize
