Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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