She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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