I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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