dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
