So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
