I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
