Non-Jews are for practice
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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